When my wife and I first started being truly non-monogamous (story here) the first thing my wife did was give her body a full aesthetic analysis. She picked out a few things she wanted to improve and went out and did it. She got some moles removed, she went to a saloon for a new hair style, she got here eyebrows threaded, she began exercising more, and began considering a boob job. In two weeks time she went from being pretty hot to absolutely stunning. I took some photos of her that she posted on dating apps and a deluge of hot dudes began flooding her inbox with interest … then she capitalized, sometimes hooking up with two or three new dudes per week.
A beneficial side effect of the slut life is that it incentivizes looking good … and looking good is often a direct indicator of feeling good and being healthy.
Humans are animals. We are sexually drawn to each other based on sets of conscious and subconscious criteria. We can list off what we know we like — muscles, a shapely ass, curvy figure, wide shoulders, a chiseled jawline, a lack of belly fat, white teeth — and our body responds to what it likes — pheromones, facial complexion, flush pink fingernails, bright moist skin, shinny thick hair … But all of these factors usually indicate the same thing: the health of the person you’re considering having sex with.
Our heads think that sex is something that we do for fun, but our bodies know that sex is still a reproductive act, and we’re programed to seek out the healthiest of partners available.
As far as the slut life is concerned, the pursuit of vanity and the pursuit of health is often one and the same. If you want to have sex with voluminous amounts of people then you probably want to put a proportional amount of effort into your physical appearance, and the best way to do this is by eating clean, exercising daily, and optimizing your hormonal profile.
Sex is my hobby. And, like most hobbies, it’s something that I find worth training for. If you’re into golf, you practice your swing; if you’re into mountaineering, you practice climbing; if you’re diving into the bottomless pit of eroticism, you take care of your body and mind to maximize your sexual potential.
I don’t expect anyone to follow this advice verbatim. Outside of any sexual benefits, I’m still into fitness and diet — it’s just what I like to do and learn about, so I’m probably more into it than I have to be. I’m just sharing a little of what I do to provide some ideas that you can add to your own repertoires … or not. If you have any questions feel free to ask in the comments below.
Diet
I don’t follow any diet fads, but I do eat what could be called an androgenic diet — basically a fancy sounding way of saying caveman food. I get a lot of meat, liver, fish, and a truly massive amount of eggs. I enhance meals with good fats. I eat bountiful amounts of vegetables. I consume a large amount of fermented foods. I consume a moderate amount of fruit and grains. I only eat organic. I rarely eat out. I avoid take out at all costs. I don’t eat gluten. I rarely eat any refined sugar. I avoid seed oils.
There are varying levels of dietary commitment, and I’m not saying that you need to copy me here, but I’ve found that following this diet has positive results. Take from it what you wish.
What I eat a lot of
- Chicken
- Beef
- Liver
- Sardines
- Eggs
- Greek yogurt
- Kefir
- Fruit: apples, oranges, kiwi, blueberries, bananas
- Vegetables: broccoli, cauliflower, kale, spinach, carrots
- Nuts and seeds: pecans, walnuts, pistachios
- Good oils: avocado, coconut, olive
Foods I avoid
- Soy – Because of the phytoestrogens
- Flax – Exponentially more phytoestrogens than soy.
- Non-organic fruits, vegetables, dairy, meat, and poultry – Men who don’t eat organic have 50% less sperm according to a new study in Human Reproduction.
- Seed oils- Perhaps the worst thing you can consume.
- Wheat- Initially because I lost a bet with my parents, but the results have been undeniable.
Vitamins and supplements
As far as vitamins go, I feel as if I get most of what I need from what I eat. Although I do take D3, K2, ZMA (magnesium, B6, and zinc), TMG, curcumin, and NAD (more on these later). I try to get all of these either liposomal or micellar to increase bioavailability.
I’ve been going easier on the supplements lately. I used to take the full range of “bodybuilding sups,” but have gradually been cutting them out. Most of this type of supplements are made to give short-term results rather than long-term health, and I suspect they may be hard on the organs. I’m basically down to whey / casein protein, and citrulline peptides. I also take collagen peptides but that’s just to look beautiful …
Exercise
Sex is a physical activity. Sex requires optimal blood flow, endurance, and, depending on how wild you get, strength. You don’t just exercise to look good but to … yes, perform well.
I aim to go to the gym four days a week, and then I do another day of strength exercises at home along with occasional supplemental sets when I feel like it. I divide my gym week up as follows:
- Chest / back
- Legs / lower back
- Arms / shoulders
- Anything I want, but generally a second day of core and leg exercises
I also train abs daily. While my wife is more into the gut-on-a-strongman, Chinese woodblock warrior look, I know that a string of abs gets attention, and is a competitive advantage in the mating game — if for no other reason than it’s extremely difficult to gain and maintain a six pack, and few dudes are able to do it.
Hormones
The human body, mind, and emotional disposition is dictated by hormones, and hormonal cultivation is one of the primary pillars of looking good wellness. This is one of the elements of sexual well-being that I feel is most overlooked. Without a balanced hormonal profile sexual desire as well as performance wans and withers. There are also many things that you can do to remedy issues as well as enhance your capabilities that don’t require pharmaceutical intervention (keeping TRT at bay for as long as possible is one of the goals here).
While I’m a dude and much of what I list here have men in mind — I intend to add a female writer in the future — most of things listed below have benefits for both sexes.
The first step in optimize your hormonal profile is removing the bad shit.
Remove the bad shit
Modern humans are at war with the world around us — our environment, toiletries, food supplies, take out packaging, even things like receipts are tainted with plastic residues, xenoestrogens, and phytoestrogens that don’t only impede our functioning as sexual beings but also make us fat. There is actually a new term for this now — obesogens — that’s used to describe these chemicals and it’s even been suggested that women experience thyroid issues at a higher rate than men because they tend to use more cosmetics, lotions, creams, etc …
Look through all of your soaps, shampoos, shaving creams, all that shit. Read the ingredients. If you can’t pronounce anything that’s listed or if there’s fragrances, aluminum, or weird acronyms throw it out. If you wouldn’t eat it, throw it out. Your skin is a giant mouth — whatever you put on it goes into your body.
Reduce the amount of times you get takeout. Restaurant food is loaded with plastic residues and pesticides as it is, but the packaging that they put it in makes it far worse. Putting hot food into plastic take out containers will be something we’ll look back on in 20 years and be like, man, those dudes were dumb.
Avoid touching receipts — they are slathered with a BPA coating.
Get rid of plastic as much as possible. Use glass or stainless steel instead. Get glass tupperware containers, get stainless steel water bottles, etc.
Don’t use teflon pans, as they release endocrine disrupting chemicals into your food. Use stainless steel, glass, or ceramic. Iron is okay to use sometimes too, but don’t overdo it.
Use all natural, fragrance free cosmetics, toiletries, laundry detergent, etc.
This may seem like an overreaction … and it may be. But the fact of the matter is that testosterone levels are plunging, and something is causing it. So why not hedge your bets?
Herbs
I will eventually do an entire course on herbs but for now I will just give a brief run down of what I take. I take most of these herbs because they boost testosterone and / or blood flow.
Go-to herbs
These are the herbs that I take regularly, cycling five days on, two days off or three weeks on, one week off.
Pine pollen
Tongkat Ali
Cistanche
Fadogia Agrestis
He Shou Wu
Nettle root
Maca
Supplemental herbs
These are the herbs that I take when either cycling off of other herbs or just because I feel like it.
Cordyceps
Horny goat weed
Mucuna
Sleep
There isn’t much to say about this one other than get that much coveted 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night. This is probably the most important thing on this list.
To improve the quality of your sleep, take ZMA and nettle root before bed, make the room as dark as possible, turn off all blue light sources, put your phone in airplane mode, turn off your wifi.
Conclusion
The ENM life keeps you competing for mates — and not just new mates but the one(s) you already have. Remember, your partner is out wooing mates too, and the drive to compete with them jealousy-free is going to keep you on your game and give an added incentive to do the things you know you should be doing anyway.
It is easy to slide into patterns of comfort when in a monogamous relationship. You gradually begin caring less about the physical attractiveness of your partner and, by extension, yourself. You feel secure and relaxed, you are no longer competing, and it’s easy to fall into a spiral of disrepair. The thrill of the sexual hunt is over and you begin seeking simple pleasures that give you that quick dopamine response: sweets, idle entertainment, booze, cigarettes, drugs … and ten years later you’re fat, on a bunch of meds, and, very often, divorced.
One of the biggest benefits of the slut life is that it keeps you out of that hole. The on-going competition for mates gives you an incentive to stay strong, look good, and be healthy. The cultivation of physical attractiveness is no longer a one and done deal — you don’t just land a mate and call it a day — but an ongoing way of life. In point, it’s health cultivation where the reward is sex.
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